In-laws want to live with us after we get our flat, how to set boundaries?

From my experience, the key is that you and your partner must be a united front before any conversation with the parents. Decide together what you're both comfortable with, because if the in-laws feel their child is on their side and you're the outsider, it turns toxic fast. It's often better for your partner to lead the discussion with their own parents. If living together is unavoidable or desired for childcare, agree on concrete boundaries early: private spaces, division of chores, finances, and decision-making on the home. In Asian families this is delicate, so frame it around everyone's comfort, not rejection. Sometimes a compromise like living nearby rather than together works better, and the Proximity Housing Grant even supports living near parents. Protect your marriage's foundation now, because resentment that builds silently is the real relationship killer.

We went through this and what saved us was honesty early rather than letting assumptions build. My wife spoke to her parents directly and lovingly, explaining we wanted to start our married life just the two of us first, while promising regular visits and help. It stung a little but was far better than years of resentment. If your culture or circumstances mean living together makes sense, set clear expectations upfront: whose home it is, house rules, and space for you as a couple. Money and childcare responsibilities should be discussed openly, not assumed. Living near instead of with them is a great middle ground, and there are housing grants that reward staying close to parents. The mistake is staying silent to keep the peace, because small irritations compound. Align with your partner first, then communicate with warmth and firmness.